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莫奈拒绝手术 丽泽·穆勒
大夫,你说没有光晕 环绕着巴黎的街灯 我看到的只是一种迷乱 由衰老引起,还有苦恼。 我告诉你它已耗尽我的一生 为了到达那天使样的煤气灯的幻觉, 为了缓和、模糊,并最终消除 你所遗憾我看不到的边界, 为了知悉我称为地平线的线条 并不存在,天空与大海, 长久地分离,拥有同一种本质。 54年前,我能够看见 鲁昂大教堂是由 平行的光线建成, 现在你想要修正 我年轻时的错误:混淆 顶部与底部的概念, 对于三维空间的错觉, 从它所覆盖的桥上分离的 紫藤的色彩。 我要怎样令你相信 国会大厦夜复一夜地 溶解成为泰晤士河 流动的梦? 我不会再回到那样一个 事物彼此不相认识的世界, 就像岛屿并不是大地 走失的孩子。这个世界 流动着,光变成它所触到的东西, 变成水,水面的百合, 水上和水下, 变成丁香和淡紫和亮黄 和洁白和蔚蓝的灯火, 小小的拳头在阳光中 迅速地交织穿梭 逗引着我画笔里飘扬的长发 去捕捉它。 去扭曲光的行进! 我们沉重的形体,这些竖立之物, 在空气里燃烧 将我们的骨骼、皮肤、外衣 变为气体。大夫, 假如你能够看见 天空怎样将大地拥入它的怀抱 心灵怎样无限地扩张 为了言说这个世界,无尽的蓝色水汽。
Monet Refuses the OperationLiselMueller Doctor,you say that there are no haloes
around the streetlights in Paris
and what I see is an aberration
caused by old age, an affliction.
I tell you it has taken me all my life
to arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels,
to soften and blur and finally banish
the edges you regret I don’t see,
to learn that the line I called the horizon
does not exist and sky and water,
so long apart, are the same state of being.
Fifty-four years before I could see
Rouen cathedral is built
of parallel shafts of sun,
and now you want to restore
my youthful errors: fixed
notions of top and bottom,
the illusion of three-dimensional space,
wisteria separate
from the bridge it covers.
What can I say to convince you
the Houses of Parliament dissolve
night after night to become
the fluid dream of the Thames?
I will not return to a universe
of objects that don’t know each other,
as if islands were not the lost children
of one great continent. The world
is flux, and light becomes what it touches,
becomes water, lilies on water,
above and below water,
becomes lilac and mauve and yellow
and white and cerulean lamps,
small fists passing sunlight
so quickly to one another
that it would take long, streaming hair
inside my brush to catch it.
To pain the speed of light!
Our weighted shapes, these verticals,
burn to mix with air
and changes our bones, skin, clothes
to gases. Doctor,
if only you could see
how heaven pulls earth into its arms
and how infinitely the heart expands
to claim this world, blue vapor without end.
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